Sunday, July 15, 2012

Back to life, back to reality

Home.. but not really.
London has always been the place in which our family and friends reside.. our annual pilgrimage back to the familiar... running past the playround that I grew up in made me smile, seeing little ones playing in the spot where 12 years ago I sat, selling my 'sand-cakes' and 'sand-muffins'... anything to do with food basically. A little girl laughed and i looked to the left, another wave of nostalgia as I remember my babysitter and mum teaching me to swing - "Legs out and lean back, now forward and legs back!" ... I used to get so scared when I went too high, thinking the swing would either get caught in the trees or get wrapped around the top pole. Of course that never happened. Swinging that high gave you that rush that kids feed off of. The adrenaline of running through a field of flowers when you're 6 years old, or swinging super high, or jumping off the intensely 'high' house in the sandpit.. It's funny that as you get older you still crave the rush, something that jolts you out of every day reality into something exciting... some go for runs, some have sex, some take drugs ... it develops, not necessarily in a good way but we're always craving the same thing - change and excitement.

Coming back has jolted me back to some sort of reality, a different reality. First it was the cold, actually when we landed it was beautiful sunshine, apparently the first anyone had seen in weeks, the fact that it was out when we landed was a good sign (touch wood). But as the night took over the cold seeped in and the jumpers came out of one of my four suitcases containing 18 years of my life. Then the rain came down and I fully realized we were back in England. The thing is, it's not really rain. It's more grey, miserable drizzle. Like when you're on the loo and still have to pee but not really so you just kind of sit there and wait. That's what the weather in London is like, everyone sitting and waiting for sunshine, but nothing really happens. You do get a few patches mind you - and when those patches of sunshine are out the parks fill with bikini's and trunks, beautiful girls in and boys soaking up as much Vitamin D as they can before the clouds budge in again.

So the cold, the rain, and then the money. Having come straight from Malaysia, and Cambodia - where cheap as chips isn't just a saying, it's a way of life... I am consistently making the habitual mistake of converting everything into various Asian currencies. I'm slowly realizing that to live here, you have to suck it up. Transport for one, yes it's a great public transport system, but no, that does not mean it's cheap. Getting a taxi across KL (from one end of the city to the other) would cost you 6 - 10 pounds MAXIMUM. And that's a lot of money. Here? I went through 10 pounds casually in a day on my oyster card, just getting to and from a job interview via public transport, all of which was in the same area of London. So there's transport, and then there's food that's very expensive but I must say is absolutely delicious. The highlight of my wonder around Portabello Rd. the other day was definitely eating the delicious Moroccan chicken tagine with apricot and cous cous.. It is possible to find cheap food here, but compared to a 20p meal of roti cennai (If you've never had it, you are missing out on a whole side of life.. delicious roti with a thick curry sauce), now the indian takeaway last night cost us about 40 pounds for 4 people. Ok i'll stop bitching about the price of everything and suck it up.

To afford it all i've had to take on a few jobs... some of which i'm still on the fence about - waitressing at a Tapas bar, catering for a great food company, possibly handing out milkshakes and coffee at a cafe, waitressing at a Vietnamese cafe in hamstead and then there's the possibility of being a social carer and 'wiping old people's bottoms' as my father so gracefully described it. After about a week i reckon the storm will calm and a bit of stability will take over (well I hope), but wondering from house to house with bits and bobs falling out everywhere, is a bit of a pain.. but one that i'm trying to accept and embrace.. still.


On the upside, it is lovely to see friends and family, watching kids playing in the park and being able to go on runs without the humidity consuming your ability to move. Fresh lavender growing outside people's houses to pick off and just breathe in as you walk down an empty street, going to sleep without the AC under a big white duvet - and feeling independent again. Yoga every day is bringing slight stability into my life, and I'm attempting to run every morning and trying not to be put off my the cold.. Right now I'm sitting here at 8:00 with the sun still up (yes it's sunny!!) still feeling full after our roast pork and apple lunch, craving a cuddle from a certain someone that feels further away than ever. Lets see how this week treats me :) I think a cuppa tea is in order.


Recipe of the day: Toad in the hole

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