Jumbled fascination

The grapes and M.

Pool sessionz

My light blue kurta is flitting to the movement of the fan above us, the little blue flowers dancing in broken rhythm  with the familiar melody of Stevie's 'isn't she lovely' swirling around the room. I'm zoning out on a Saturday morning to the smell of roasted coffee beans as dad puts on his morning brew and my brother sits perfectly content in his usual indention in the bed with his laptop and headphones to accompany him. I'm still floating in the post-yoga high when seconds seem to tick slightly slower and your thoughts weave in and out of each other instead of coming at you all at once. My eating routine's taken a change of course after being given a pre-op diet by the doctor. I already choose to whine about the restrictions in my usual diet - 'no wheat' being the most straining factor. But now it's no dairy, caffeine, green veg, cheese, wheat, nuts or alcohol. Doesn't that cover pretty much every food group excluding meat? I guess my decision on weather to go veg. or not has been made. But it's quite interesting having to have such self-discipline regarding what you eat (not that I stick to it very often). But when you do, you learn to be creative and combine different flavours to give yourself the same satisfaction that something you'd normally eat would give you. This morning welcomed me with porridge oats, milk and fresh berries, with lemon & honey tea - there are alternatives!
I'm realizing as I learn more and more about nutrition and food that there are 10000+ methods to follow diet-wise, whether you choose to go with what's best for your blood type (read my previous post called 'blood red munch' if you're interested), your personal preference (vegan/ vegetarianism etc), a Buddhist diet (where they tend to avoid stimulating/ heating foods like ginger, garlic, meat etc. because it keeps the mind too active during meditation) or your ayurvedic constitution.. I know this is a lot of information in one go but bear with me.

Double J

Recently I've become particularly interested in the last method I mentioned, and am learning about it slowly. Basically in ayurveda they split people into various 'types' or 'dosha's', this is based on all of your physical, emotional and psychological workings and once you've found out what combination of dosha's you are, you can adjust your diet or lifestyle based on what's 'best suited' to you. E.g. some people don't work well with a rabbit diet (salads and light foods) whereas some people do. You'll find that with all of these different methods, much of the dietary/ lifestyle advice overlaps so you can really refine what's best for you - if you're interested that is ;). (http://doshaquiz.chopra.com/) - if you want to find out what you are, check it out and see if it makes sense.

Besides dietary concerns, due to my temperamental tummy bug I stayed in bed last night, snuggled up under the covers after having been diversely remedied from both sides of the family. My mum lay with me and vigorously rubbed the never-failing remedy of Chinese oil on my tummy until it generated enough heat to kill the pain, and my dad brought over a cup of  dandelion and wild honey tea. I felt satiated with all the heat and my petals wilted down into bed with a big hoodie and baggy trackies; my eyes closing as credits from 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' scrolled down the screen. As my heartbeat slowed and I drifted into a dream-world, the motif of the movie (in response to the ever thought provoking question, and a common topic of girly conversation 'why do good people always go for the wrong people') danced around my head in italic font, 'we accept the love we think we deserve' - a deep message to conceptualize, and reflecting on it stings..
I'd read 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'  by Stephen Chybosky a few years ago when a best friend and I did our 'favourite book swap' in an attempt to get back into reading (I gave her '13¹⁄₂ lives of captain bluebear' by Walter Moers - amazing book). It worked - I raced through the book, connecting to the characters so easily. The movie lived up to more than I thought it would, the scenes of the protagonists lunacy being scarily relatable - they reminded me of those rare intoxicated/ delirious moments that happen when you feel like you're going crazy and you realize it's all in your own head.. or maybe that's just me :p. It was interesting seeing what brought on the lunacy though, the driving emotion being 'guilt' that is said again and again to be the emotion with the lowest vibrational frequency. Meaning harbouring guilt, causes pain, disease, injury, lunacy even.. So the mountain of thoughts, questions and worries continuously spun around my head, but darkness eventually prevailed.

We're baaack

The last few days in KL have seemed to blur together as I'm sure everyone's has. It's always like that when you're in the hustle and bustle of seeing friends and engrossing yourself in your old environment, parties, pool days, lunches, rekindling old flames, sessions here and there - it's all so fun, but it doesn't stop. Seeing how friendships have changed, who's adapted to uni life and who's still hanging on to our glorious past. You stop questioning and wondering how we're all going to stay intouch and what our future holds because seeing each other just makes you appreciate when it does happen. The Lumineers are strumming along to 'Flowers in your hair' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sb6LduFwRM) a song that was sent to me by a friend the other day. I'm wondering where I put my phone 10 minutes ago, this memory-loss thing is really starting to get to me, I almost feel like I should write a book on 'Alzheimers for Teenagers', but noticing the same trend amongst the majority of my friends makes me feel slightly better.

Oh Bush

Indulge me in a bit of reflection on the bigger picture. A few weeks ago I was told that our DNA is 94% identical to a fruit flies - yet that 4% still deems humans to be the top of the food chain? I was talking to my uncle D. about why this was and gained some rather interesting insight. I learnt about his business that he started himself a long time ago, with a typewriter in a dingy room. He expanded and worked his way up to own one of the most successful PR businesses in the UK, that he then happily sold on at it's peak. At the point of selling his business he was offered the most life changing job, to be the top CEO of some huge marketing company ladidadida, and after weighing the pro's and con's, he didn't choose the luxury, the parties and the girls but instead to drop his ego and focus on what he wanted, having a family and a lifestyle - which I commend him for.We got down to the thrawl of things and why you'd choose one decision over another and concluded that greed is what drives humans. A very real example of this can be seen in politics.. in a speech made my George Bush (who I don't particularly respect, but this point had a level of sanity to it) regarding the kyoto protocol (the climate change deal that he did not comply with). He believes the way forward is investing in technology as opposed to forest conservation etc. A seemingly ignorant opinion at first but his reasoning is that because technology has the power to do everything for us, and humans create technology because it essentially makes our lives easier. Hence technology benefits us and should be invested in because greed is what drives technology production unlike forest conservation. They've already proved that technology can take over from natural methods. Just look at the answer to the extinction of bees, they've now created 'robot bees' to pollinate flowers in a faster and more precise manner than real bees - is it the natural way of doing things? No. But that's another debate. So while Bush seems like a dick for not wanting to support the environment, his cynical view is quite realistic, and ruthless. Amongst all of the clutter that I've just mentioned, even if we are driven my selfish motives, sometimes in the hardest decision it takes a drop of the ego to make the choice to consciously stand at the top of the chain.. otherwise we may as well lose the 4% and join the fruit flies.

Sci-guy

Another blurry day

I'm still floating a little from all the thinking and the meditation, and I catch a passage from Guru Singh's lecture on how to ground yourself, what a coincidence! I hear him say in his laid back Cali accent "Buddha once said 'walk the middle path', I call that boredom, and that's what grounds you. 'Knowing' is boredom because when you know something, there are no more surprises, just guarantees. " That's something to think about, just in case you didn't have enough ;). So I'm going to sit in 'knowing' for a bit as I come back down to an overcast KL afternoon. I can see little children running around and laughing downstairs in the pool.. it makes a change from the usual giggles that escape the mouths of a group of teenagers sitting in a circle with a few beats and a steady stream of smoke. My brain feels fed, now it's my tummy's turn - lunchtime!


Recipe of the day: Overnight oats

http://www.katheats.com/favorite-foods/overnightoats

Cambodian romance

Colourful juices

'Air Asia flight AK1473 is ready to board, please proceed to the departure gates', the ladies voice echoes across the airport (funny how it's usually a woman's voice - but that can be saved for another post) we sit, in a weird delusional/ buzzed state, after an early start and a large coffee. I can't believe our Christmas holiday is over already. But I don't feel that usual dread of having to go back to work or school, because the adventures just keep on rolling - much to the envy of the three other members of my family, hehe. So our trip - this is going to be a long one, but I'll try to keep it as concise as possible. .

The streets of P.P

As everyone knows the cheapest flights are usually at the most difficult hours, so we board our flight from Kuala Lumpur to Phnom Pen at 4am,  everyone appearing slightly bedraggled and zombie-like, I'm getting used to this look. This was mum and I's second trip to Cambodia, the first was the beginning of a love affair, the second is when the romance really kicked off. We lead the way as soon as we got to the airport, feeling fairly empowered as we grinned with the knowledge of the prices to pay and the places to go - we took the boys to our favourite little boutiquey cafe for a yummy brunch, introducing them to a beautiful Cambodian morning. Fresh beetroot, carrot, ginger and apple juices arrived, the colours vibrant against the white table cloth. The food followed suit, with a light start of soups, salads, fish and sweet potato rosti's. There was plenty of time for a taste of Khmer so a spot of western didn't seem a crime.  After dumping our stuff in the room, the family split according to sexes, the boys dossed in front of the TV, grinning from ear to ear as they melted contently into their beds, and us girls went to our favourite, and very dangerous shop Ambre, for an indulgent spree. We arrived back about  4 hours later, sweaty and tired but refreshed after a king coconut break, opening the door, the boys lay in exactly the same position we'd left them in, I smiled.

Spiders straight from the kitchen
eek!

My mind roamed free as I inhaled a few flower girl fumes and we went to a beautiful local Khmer restaurant that gave it's profits to street orphans - the heart put into the food was evident as we munched down on masaman curry, Asian greens and so much more. We fell asleep satiated and happy to be there. The next morning we made our way to Kep, a little seaside town near Kampot where the French influence is large with the beautiful architecture and French boutiques. We had to give the boys a taste of the notorious Kampot pepper crab, a meal where you remain totally present as you use your fingers to delicately discover the fresh meat underneath the hard, red shell. Your eyes widening as you crunch down on a fresh, green piece of Kampot pepper, little yelps coming out from everyone in turn as a prick from a claw or leg was felt. It's funny being back in Asia, and having to slow down from the fast paced London vibe. Getting used to slower service at restaurants and testing your patience as the orders repeatedly come back wrong or different to what you expected - laughing about it's the easiest way out, compared to the simmering anger that my brother was experiencing opposite me. We all slumped down onto the round, comfy deck chairs by the pool for an afternoon siesta. I awoke to see everyone snoozing around me, and slid quietly into the water. The clouds were positioned in such a way that only a triangular shaped slither allowed you to see the glow of the setting sun. As it lowered it looked like the eye of an elephant, but warm, rich and knowing - a serene ending to a full-on day.

Cooking Kampot crabs

Lilo action

After us girls found a happy place with our morning yoga, we ventured to 'rabbit island', walking away from the crowds to find a tranquil, empty area on the white, sandy beach. I took off my dress and lathered myself in sun cream  laughing at mum's comment towards me "oh darling you're a beautiful colour, ivory almost" - secretly praying  that the ivory would shift up on the colour scale post-Cambodia. I swam out and for hours I felt like a child again, rolling around, making weird shapes and thinking weird things, with no one but the fish to judge you or tell you what's wrong or right. I lay floating above the turquoise water, my head half submerged - underneath the surface it always amazes me that there's a whole other world, the distant sounds of boats, fish pecking on coral or swishing through the water as their way of making their presence known. And then above water you have the birds, the people, the wind, cicada's and crickets screaming their tunes.  The sun zapped our energy and our water so we went in search of something yummy. Starting off with fresh juicy watermelons, green papaya salad followed, king coconut and a variety of grilled seafood and Cambodian goodness - everything coming to a 'hefty' sum of $10 - I love it here.

Rabbit island

New years eve was never so relaxed, we played cards, we ate amazing food, restaurant hopping for tastes of it all and sipping on cocktails before snuggling up in bed. I walked out onto our veranda and lit my last cigarette of 2012, reflecting on the craziest year of my life and wondering what 2013 would hold. The next morning I felt utterly grateful for the clear head and the intact memories of the night before, a first for a long time. My dad was quick to slip into his seargent major role and hurry us all into the taxi to get to the beach in good time. So we gulped down our breakfast - scrambled eggs with the unesacary addition of a mountain of MSG, and we were finally off to Otres beach, (what Phuket was 20 years ago - basic and beautiful).

Coconuts

To entertain the young 'un in the car we played 'guess what I'm thinking', the game being constantly interrupted by fits of laughter as the realization of the ADD and 'out of it-ness' of every member of our family became increasingly apparant. 'Is it a metal?' 'Yes' 'Is it a parakeet ' ..  'Really?'.. The tyres hit bumpy ground as we veered off the road towards our little Robinson Crusoe beach huts. The picturesque Google image of white sandy beaches, tanned tourists and sparkling seas greeted us. Driving passed 'happy herb pizza' and 'mushroom point' made me giggle.

A bit of sibling bondage during a
civilized massage

I always discuss with friends how school zaps a lot of pleasure out of reading because so much text is unwillingly forced down our throats. But not having school, and taking the time to get into a good book is so worth it. This holiday I excitedly raced through 3, 'Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change' by Pema Chodron- An easy and concise read that teaches you the principles of Buddhism in a very relate-able manner - an appropriate title given my fear of instability that's now been thankfully lifted for the time being, a quote that I love is "Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news" - Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche (it explains why in the book). It taught me my most recent spiritual discovery, almost a form of meditation that can help in the most trying times - 'Tonglen' that I've been practising a lot lately. It's a Tibetan word meaning 'sending and receiving , look it up if you're interested, but the four basic steps are 1) to pause, 2) to visualize, feel your inhale as being heavy and your exhale being light, 3) breathing in the pain, and breathing out the relief and 4) expanding the situation to all those feeling the same way.

Cocktails

 The other two books weren't quite as spiritually enlightening, but sexually - haha E.L James does soft porn well. I was given the book as a slight joke, and I rolled my eyes at the thought of reading it, but after the first 3 pages I was hooked, and finished 2 books out of the 3 in two days. 'Fifty Shades of Grey' - the ultimate girly book. Most of my imagination from my childhood comes from books, and that's what makes them magic; your imagination can go so much further than any special affects created on a screen. It's sad how we, well I, mindlessly sit in front of the TV so much more often than fully engrossing myself in a book. Falling in love with a character, or a certain Mr. Grey, and closing the book with tears streaming down my face just because of a few words printed on a page - the magic that writing can do. I put the book down and swung side to side in our hammock, with a little spliff and cold soda water with a slice of lime.

Asian greenery

Our hut

The spliff didn't turn out to be such a good idea, we sat at the table for dinner and our lovely Scottish waiter Andrew approached our table for our order. 'Patrick and the 3 J's what would you like", everyone made their requests and the attention was shifted to me, causing a 5 minute, non-stop outburst of laughter. You know those moments when there's nothing to laugh about but you just can't stop yourself? And the realization that nothing's funny makes you laugh even more? Luckily it was slightly contagious and mum started as well - I didn't manage to make my order so mum thankfully made it for me. Andrew walked away smirking, and the boys blushed beetroot red, lowering their heads down on the table, 'I'm so embarrassed Jake' was all dad could say, and they looked at each other and shook their heads as our laughs slowly died down. The next few days were lazy as everyone wound down and got into their groove, with no game consoles or computers in reach. Yoga and sea swims for exercise and a little kayak down the nearby lagoon to see the bird life and the mangroves.. expecting to find ourselves in a peaceful paradise we ended up in a sewage dump, laughing and frantically trying to turn around without splashing the water everywhere, it was a funny site. The girls on one kayak, rowing in-sync and the boys on another, the dynamic was hilarious, mum constantly chirping in with 'pull up from your naval point, straight backs guys! open your heart centre' and Jake's response 'shut-up mum my back's fine!' Dad motored along in their kayak as my brother sat back proving to be as useful as a wet paper bag as he picked up on the sergeant major vibe,  shouting orders at everyone to row faster - we ended up tossing him out when we reached the sea.

A smile

In psychology you learn about 'in-groups' and 'out-groups', it's so fun being back with the family as the dynamic shifted between girls vs. boys to parents vs. kids to father and daughter vs. mother and son - it was endless and all such a light hearted laugh. Our taxi ride back to Phnom Pen was the cherry on top as we battled to understand the taxi driver who refused to speak to us, apart from his occasional phone conversations in which everyone in the car went into a shocked silence as he screamed in Khmer to whoever was on the other side of the line. We arrived at our hotel 2 hours late, having gone slightly crazy with cabin-fever, to crash out on soft white pillows as we enjoyed a final spot of luxury, what a happy ending. I look down at my arm, I'm not quite 50 shades darker but it's better than ivory at least  'Please turn off all electrical devices as we prepare for take-off', time to go!


Recipe of the day: Cha Traop Dot (pork and eggplant)

http://www.food.com/recipe/cha-traop-dot-cambodian-eggplant-pork-stir-fry-228764