The year Santa wore speedos..

Another beautiful sunset

I sit sniffling, with my cold at a climax and my chest loosening slightly after my first asthma attack in a long time, the local doc (that resembles a 15 year old) has prescribed me various pills for the next 4 days that I hope will soon heal me – do you find that when you stop moving so fast, or settle into holiday mode, everything seems to catch up with you and your body begins the much needed healing process you haven’t allowed it to have… but to be honest there’s more in the world to complain about, especially given the breath-taking view from above my laptop screen, it’s almost enough to make one forget what illness means.

Famalam :) (Excuse J's finger..)

I’m sitting in a beach cabana at our sweet guesthouse 'Sunset Gecko', surrounded by ‘The Ring of Fire’ – a surreal geological formation containing most of the worlds volcano's that arise as dark shadowy mountains at certain times of the day – easily mistaken for distant thunderclouds.
Today, the sky is slightly paler than the sea and a few white blobs are scattered around in random patches. The sharp, streamline clouds are a dark aqua and clumsily cut across the big fluffy giants that humour the afternoon. The sea is perfectly calm with a million visible ripples, as though someone from distant lands had thrown a rock into the water and the Gilli seas received the subtle aftershocks, that dissipate in soothing sounds as the waves lap the coral smothered sands. 

A moment of presence in Langkawi

You’d never believe that beneath the surface lies an underwater garden alive with the most tropical beauties – on my first venture into the deep, I spotted a huge turtle and spent the next hour and a half following it along, sneaking the odd stroke as excited tingles moved in waves through my body. I felt its slimy algae shell and caressed the large dent in its side, probably a result of a boat accident or shark at some point in its long life. My desire to be a mermaid felt real for a little while as we glided along together and I just admired its beauty, joined by J, mum or dad in sporadic intervals. 

Our xmas decorations on our balcony

Assuming we were on the same wavelength I held my breath and gently clutched on to the top of it’s shell, anticipating the ride of my life, when it spun around and proceeded to snap at me – my illusion was shattered and the wildness of the sea and its animals jolted me back to the surface of my reality. I floated away and allowed it to continue on with its peaceful existence of munching coral and floating with the current. As I returned to shore, wary of the surrounding boats, the sounds of their engines pulsing in my ears, I saw the odd floating plastic bag suspended in the ocean that had such jellyfish-like qualities… it made me empathise with the unknowing animals, almost experiencing a sense of suffocation as I became aware of my breath becoming more rapid and my body feeling panicked as I imagined the turtle obliviously chomping into one. On my way back to shore I tried to collect as many as possible but it just didn’t feel like enough… 

On a more positive note, It’s Christmas day of 2014 and I am surrounded by my gorgeous family in the Gilli Islands (translated from Bahasa into ‘small islands’) located just off of Lombok, Indonesia.

My brother and I :)

Pretty jewels for Christmas :)

I’m basking in familiarity, it’s easy to forget where your behavioural patterns stem from until you’re surrounded by your roots again – when opening Christmas presents after breakfast and a Lombok Coffee, my grin began to widen; not just because of the material aspect of Christmas, (while beautiful presents are always enjoyed) but because no one knows you like your family. Presents at Christmas, whether small or big, expensive or cheap, are a reflection of the level of thought someone’s put into you and vice versa. Simple things like knowing what colours you love or what your favourite chocolate is are what tick the boxes.

Christmas day presents :)

Ever since I was a little girl, my dad’s always said to me ‘I’d be happy with just a hand made card’ and while I’ve never given him just that, the message of authenticity and sentimentality still rings strong.

I can’t tell you how grateful I feel to be in the warmth again; my last blog post was written during the last wisps of summer as I left Australia in Spring and entered Pre-Autumn England. As friends have commented, these blogs tend to correlate with exotic adventures and holidays, leaving the mundane daily life out of the readers mind though it does still exist, it’s just not so fun to write about. I’ll give the mentionable stuff a chance…

The first frosty
leaves!

A yummy breakfast:
Fresh fig porridge with
raisins, pomegranate, honey
and cinnamon

I moved into a new house in Bristol with lovely new flatmates T, A and D, with whom I’ve bonded over movie nights and red wine, grime and Ben Pearce, fairy lights and spliffs, arguments about the heating or the kitchen and just general student tings…

The Second year of uni began with a roaring start, feeling more comfortable in our shoes and on the grounds of UWE, having graduated from fresher-dome, the content of Psychology kicking up a notch as I received my first ‘first’ in an essay about the dorsal streams in the brain relating to object recognition – la la la, don’t ask… It’s funny reading it now and having only a slight idea what I was talking about… I think that’s one of the highlights of uni though right, discovering your inner intellectual. My Sociology module in Transgression, taught by a stand up comedian whose lectures feature controversial topics such as SnM, Serial Killers, Cults and Satanism – each one being like watching a really good VICE documentary narrated by Russell Peters.

My cycle route :)

I’ve ticked off another box on the hippy trail and have joined the carbon-emission free cyclists – getting to grips with how to work out which gears work best on the hilly terrain of the city (primarily the sweaty uphill route to Uni), developing my incredibly poor road sense, buying all the essential accessories for rainy days and freezing winters (cold, stiff fingers were the most painful lesson) and also appreciating the picturesque country cycle routes. I can’t help but stop and take photo’s occasionally of the colliding clouds at sunset or the first frosty leaves on a 0°morning.

Feeling the love at Future Boogie

Cycling’s definitely been useful for travelling to my clients with the social caring agency I work for. The most difficult of clients who drained a lot of my energy last year is no longer with our agency, after burning down her hostel and having to be relocated somewhere a little further away… :s I now work with other, more manageable clients, customizing our days together depending on their disability and disposition … some days I race down Gloucester road, pushing a hysterically happy H. (who has cerebral palsy) in her wheelchair as we run to catch the bus to browse the German Christmas markets in town. Other days involve supporting C. (who suffers partial paralysis after multiple strokes and various other mental illnesses) for her weekly swim in a luxuriously heated pool at the Marriott. There’s also lovely J, a transgender with a neurological disease who lives in a ridiculously lovely Christian Commune and the list goes on… I can’t say there are many dull moments, or clients for that matter.

One of my clients, A <3

After a days work the last burst of energy gets thrown into Hot Yoga – the name says it all. You arrive and place your special towel on your mat that ends drenched in sweat as you proceed to follow the instructor through a Vinyassa Flow series, in a Sauna. Similar to Bikram Yoga but less monotonous – it’s a very intense, masculine and energetic practise as you indulge in your cyclic breath and wind down from all the stressors of western living. Stepping outside into a cold winters eve and cycling down the backstreets on the ride home is always invigorating.

Fat Freddyyy

So the highlights of the last few months were having my best friend M. move to town, cooking delicious meals, slowing down on the wide eyed clubbing front and spending money on amazing gigs like Fat Freddy’s drop in London with J, Gramatik in Bristol with D, Mr. Scruff, Shak-out, Future Boogie and a few others. Breaks from Bristol to my hippie home in Devon with C and J, lunches with Rastas in Portobello market and attending my cousins launch party for his pizza business in a trendy warehouse in North London (http://www.madeofdough.co.uk/)

But while I tie the knot for now on that spiel (I apologise for the length), I can feel lightness in my heart. The darkness of winter began to dawn on me and SAD definitely played its role. Growing up in Asia where summer’s the only season besides the few months of tropical downpour, lack of sun feels so abnormal – sunbeds have become an occasional guilty pleasure…

Alex Gray

J and I riding Segways
in Langkawi haha

So now, the sun has returned, as have the loves of my life – family have already been mentioned (my 15 year old brother whom I still imagine having to bend over to hug is now almost 6ft tall and growing!) And I have also been reunited with my boyfriend J after months of sustaining a tedious long distance relationship of daily 10 minute Skype calls as I’m falling asleep with red eyes and he’s fresh faced and hopping out of bed at 8am ready to start the day. I can’t explain how connecting on a physical level, just holding hands or really feeling their presence allows for that cold winter barrier to melt again and emotions to pour into one another. Alex Grays painting (Right) describes it perfectly…

Reunion :)

After a lovely but hectic evening in mums boho-chic apartment (as we helped her shut down all her accounts that were being hacked one by one), with her new best friends and comical neighbours, J and I jetted off to Langkawi; the closest Malaysian beach getaway from Kuala Lumpur, where we became travellers again. Bartering with sarong sellers, riding motorbikes up windy hills and eating £1 meals on plastic chairs with fellow sweaty backpackers.

It shames me to admit, despite my efforts, I have lost a few things on this trip… a wad of money, various Christmas presents ladidadida but I’m not going to spend my time dwelling on the negative. One of my new years resolutions is to be more aware of everything – hopefully the necklace that dad got me for Christmas (that contains all of the spiritual and religious protection amulets) will help ward off some of the negative as I work towards developing this goal…

So now, J. is with his family in KL and I am with mine in Indo, In January 2015 we will journey to Bristol together when my exams kick off (meh) but for now, an attitude of gratitude and presence will help evoke the true essence in all of us. Lots of love to all, Merry Christmas and a Happy 2015.

Recipe of the day: Roti Cannai! (Photo's of a pro making it below)

http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/28702/roti+canai 

Christmas strikes again

Banter on the flight to Lanka,
before the hysterics started...

The ‘Air Asia’ logo looks back at me as we sit waiting for the plane to refuel so that we can jet off to sweet home Sri Lanka, via Male the capital of the Maldives. It’s Boxing Day and no one’s really ‘with it’ just yet. I stumbled in with J at 4am, giving us approximately 3 hours before the shrill piece of cake compared to the UK. Opening your eyes from under a heavy 50tog duvet, the ringing of that annoying alarm you’ve been conditioned to associate with wake-mode and just… darkness. It has to be done fast, like ripping of a plaster, you know the hairs are going to be pulled out regardless, why make the process slower than it needs to be? The alarm rang and it was time to up and go/ moan and deliriously pack my bag that was brimming over with piles of crumpled up clothes – organised mess I like to call it, something a fair few students/ teenagers seem to understand. I wiped the sleepy dust out of my eyes, dad had already given us the wake up call but I knew my alarm would give me another 15 minutes. I could never really understand the concept of being able to ‘chill out’ when you know you only have a few minutes left… I get that bodily sensation of every cell pumping itself up until I can’t take it anymore and my legs swing themselves around until I’m standing vertical on the floor, having transitioned away from peaceful slumber and a comfy bed. Waking up in Asia is a

A lovely catch up at KLCC with H and K <3

A and I <3

I arrived in Malaysia to the warmth and sunshine just over a week ago, how time flies eh? – If I got a pound for every time I said that I’d be a rich girl. Despite the short time, I feel like I’ve covered most bases. Getting back into the humid rush of the tropics, emotions running rampant and jet lag greeting you in waves. Seeing family and being the ‘child’ again after having had complete independence – not having to do all your washing up or share cupboards or fridge space, having your clothes washed for free and family dinners! Clicking with old friends after years of no contact and feeling like you’ve all just returned from a very dense spring break. How do you catch someone up on what’s been happening for the last 2 years of your life? Is it the bad times that stand out, the magical moments, the spiritual awakenings or just the present state of being? I like asking people how they are at the time because that’s all that really matters, of course the experiences and the stories are what got us to this point, but we all have so many and why waste energy dwelling in the past, when it’s the moment you have together that makes another story for the next person. Walking through pavilion with red eyes at midnight, indulging in rich, creamy ice cream, lunch with H & K - 2 old friends from The Overseas School of Colombo/ Sri Lanka who I share a 3 – year catch up with whenever we’re in the same place, shisha time, pool sesh’s, delicious meals out, beer towers, swims, yoga, presents, Malaysian grass and booze.

Christmas morning came around and we cuddled up in dad’s bed to open our stockings, which were hilarious. You know your brother’s reached puberty when he starts pulling out face wash, deo and blemish sticks. I on the other hand got chocolates, lingerie and… a grinder? Love you Santa.

KL crew's first night out :)

The first night I was back I saw J again, after 6 months of long distance, having been through the hardships of longing and lusting we finally got to experience the initial moment of locking eyes, without having to be on Skype. Feeling that familiar, overwhelmed, ecstatic and confused sensation all in one go, do you kiss or hug or talk?! My eyes streamed and heart pounded as we embraced for the first time in too long and just held on as tight as possible for a while, wondering whether it was real or not. The last time we’d seen each other was 6 months ago in that very spot. It felt like the time that had lapsed had been a different slice of life– I’d lived mine in Bristol and he’d lived his in Aus, different people, different experiences and yet here we both were, back at square one, something we understood together again. Do you know the theory that we exist in multiple universes simultaneously as the same person, but in infinite possible situations. Like the butterfly effect, when one tiny thing changes, the rest of the story does too – if every single possibility was to happen at once, our reality now/ perception of what we see is one of those possibilities because of the way the human mind has learned to conceptualise time and space. We think of time as linear and progressive, when in actuality it’s one point in space and that point symbolizes everything that’s happening at once, hence the importance of ‘presence’. We spend so much time planning our future or worrying about our past, but if we died in 2 minutes, none of those thoughts would be significant if we hadn’t taken the time to live those 120 seconds to their fullest – YOLO I believe is the expression? Haha, sorry…

Before I boarded the plane in London, I wondered whether I’d run into anyone. It’s quite cool that as International kids we could be in any airport anywhere in the world and still see someone we recognize or know, standing right next to us. M from Alice Smith was on my flight so we chatted and caught up, the general theme being that going home was something everyone was craving. It’s interesting seeing how everyone’s taking Uni, A lot of people seem to take a while to find their feet, including me. You’re thrust out of this spoon fed, easy going bubble of fun, expat living, cheap food, taxis, free drinks, great clubs, shitty music… to independence, bills, cold weather, reality. Of course that’s slightly cynical and there’s a lot more to it than that, a lot that’s beautiful and life changing and fun. But for the sake of argument, it’s a big shift that involves big emotional turnovers leading to this suffering in the form of disorders, drugs or disease. My heart goes out to all those having a hard time <3

On the other (slightly less depressing) hand, it’s great hearing stories from those that are loving life. R’s living it up in Sweden surrounded by beautiful, blue eyed blondes, C ‘s experiencing her love for Bushduf’s in Aus and H has her head firmly on her shoulders with a great group of friends in Holland. It’s also great being able to give that experience to each other – a drunken night out on Changkat full of laughs and dancing, being 19 and walking into our old hang out spots while you feel the evil eyes of 14 year olds wondering who you are and what you’re doing in their space… as you look back wondering how old they are and remembering the days when we were them. A meal at 3am at Nasi Kandar where the common favorite is roti Cannai and Milo ice, £2 for something that takes 5 minutes top to inhale.

Family at christmas

Last night after a huge Christmas dinner of turkey, duck, roast potatoes & all the trimmings, a stodgy Christmas pudding, apple crumble, minced pies and large glasses of baileys, R and I were planning on finding someone to rub our tummy’s for a bit before we became mobile enough to walk/ go out. We held our food babies and reveled in the satiation of stuffed-ness. You know food comas are a real thing right? As you’re eating your body releases dopamine, a hormone responsible for states of excitement, ecstasy, happiness, that’s followed by the slow release of serotonin and melatonin – the hormones released when one goes to sleep hence why you feel sleepy after a meal. The Spanish have it right with siestas – when I bought that up over summer my cousin suggested that that’s the reason things don’t get done fast enough there contributing to why they’re in such a bad way, economically. I can’t imagine London chilling out enough to stop everything and sleep for a few hours after lunch; you can’t even walk slowly in London without feeling out of place. A nap?! Pshh. If only.

Jack and Jill :)

So with our full bellies, my red drunken face and a Christmas spirit, we took the bus to KLCC and walked over to Changkat to have a couple of happy hour drinks with the upbeat Aussies J and J. Joined later by other friends we moved from one bar to the next, from Sambuca to long islands to beer to cider. We sat in ‘fish n chips’ a bar down the road, with the first man sitting down ironically chowing down a plate of fish and chips – good advertising. J got up to break the seal and came back chucking a live lobster on the table that crawled around frantically as we all stared in amazement at what had just interrupted our conversation. ‘Cannot lah! Cannot!’ the waitress squealed as she looked over our shoulders at the live sea creature, pulling The chef out of the kitchen after a few minutes, to put the little guy back in his tank. Causing more trouble J and J disappeared for a bit to say hi to a few other friends at another nearby bar, Healy Macs. We soon ran into them, ripped Calvin Klein shirt, hyper demeanor and wide eyes at having sprinted away from a bouncer that had obviously woken up on the wrong side of the bed and hurled a few punches before realizing he wasn’t going to get them. We thought we’d get out pronto so off to J’s hotel we drove, clambering up to the rooftop to spin around in awe at the panorama of KL on Christmas night. The orangey glow of city lights added warmth to the scattered skyscrapers. We lit up and exhaled, talk going from small to medium to deep deep down into the depths of the ocean. Enigma codes, fractals, human perception, the creation of math, 3D printers AH brain-ache. I sat hours later on the same side of the table as R facing the fluorescent, empty hallway of lights and sipping on a Milo panas (hot chocolate) just absorbing our flow.

Bright and early on xmas morning

Christmas night <3

Time was ticking, 8 days had already gone by, I still hadn’t packed, showered, been home or hydrated
after our night of drinking, I could almost hear my alarm going off already, ugh get us home! We all hugged tight and said our indefinite goodbyes to each other, getting into a RM10 taxi for my last ride home in however long it would be. It’s a scary thought not knowing what the future holds isn’t it? But at the same time, like the ‘simultaneously infinite existences’ that I mentioned earlier, there are also infinite possibilities of what might happen in our future so we can only really flow with it and see where it takes us. Right now I’m being taken back home to the country I lived in for the longest, to stay in our friends fairytale wooden/ glass house in the rubber plantations, a hippy eco-village for New Year, a dive and surf in backpacker central/ Hikkaduwa and some family/ friend time at good old Galle fort. How I miss it so. Merry Christmas everyone, live up the last few weeks of 2013 before the post-crimbo diets begin ;)

Recipe of the day: Christmas Pud
http://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/cuisine/european/english/traditional-christmas-pudding.html