Finding neverland

En-route

Sitting on the bus on the way to the airport, I glance out the window in front of me… the last few hours of sunshine spreads in a golden wave across the lush green slopes of the English countryside. My heart fluctuates between that satisfied feeling deep in my soul and the nervousness of knowing that I’ve got to change pace and restrain that inner child that’s been roaming free for the last few days…

My mind’s been blown, literally and metaphorically considering my brain cells have definitely been significantly reduced… but aside from the self-medication and rather foggy head, my hearts feels expansive (did you know your heart’s electric field is 60 times the magnitude than that of your brain.. no wonder feelings take so much priority in our lives…) It’s been nurtured with the grooves, connections and atmosphere of a 3 day regression session… An engagement party of sorts where everyone commits to liberating their soul in unison as we reach a state of oneness with a uni-verse.

Let’s rewind a little… the fast paced and unsurprisingly stressful journey to the station on the way to the party left us with 2 minutes to spare, racing up the stairs with the regular panic of thinking we were going to miss our train yet again, but as always (touch wood) we made it in the nick of time. Ciders at the ready and a red face in no time, we broke the barrier of 'no eye-contact on a train' and made new friends with the guy in the seat next to us, as we wrote L’s hippie activism sign for ‘Woodstock day’ that read ‘Saving the bees gives me a buzz’ – it didn’t actually get used but was a conversation starter if anything.

Down the rabbit hole

Sexy garden party

So we arrived at the train station and after a failed attempt at trying to haggle a taxi driver down to get to the stately home in the middle of the countryside, we wondered away to try to get a bus, hoping he’d call back for us… but he didn’t. So with no idea where to go, we sheepishly sauntered over to agree on the original set price… we picked up the essentials and arrived at the house of fun (Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIacAO4Ttyk)

Choose your face ;)

The warm glow of fairy lights greeted us, accompanied by the faint sounds of jazzy beats as 70 +people dressed in crazy outfits (accompanied by fluorescent fro’s and straggly bits of barbie hair) emerged from all directions, embracing old and new faces alike. We found our rooms, got into costumes and began the shenanigans – we wondered in awe around the fantastical maze … from the chapel rave to the giant games room filled with snooker tables, giant cross-4 and chess boards, a trampoline, space hoppers and so much more …

Mags and co.

Aaaand the party kicked off .. bleh bang boombamdizzledoo we moved to them funky funky beats and got U’s ‘good vibrations goin on’ … twirling and twisting in all sorts of weird and wonderful ways. Listening to hilarious stories about how J got spat on in tesco by a random woman (for buying baby props for his outfit) or chanting mantras of Dave eating his vitamins ;) …

Emergency bingoo

Time seemed irrelevant as everyone went with the rhythm of their own constitution. The weather forecast had been one of two extremes, so it was either bikini weather or tornado’s … but the vibes caught on and were glorious as the sun shined and we all lay together on the grass, under trees of cherry blossom jamming away.

The forfeits for those that hadn’t completed their tasks pre-party, involved drinking a shot and racing down a hill against someone on a space hopper :p and then the shift embraced a bit of funk and soul that filled the space and got the grooving going. I swam doggy paddle in circles in the pool, watching with dilated pupils the steam come off the water as it collided with the cold air above it… C. continued to paddle about, solo and nude with a baby doll being thrown around and caressed by each of us in turn… I soon joined in on the dread shared by the rest of the pool dwellers regarding getting out of the water and into the cold, cold air. But it had to be done! So towels at the ready, and the next set of clothes…

Forfeits

The themes for each night were ‘the carnival of colours’, ‘heaven and hell’ and 'Woodstock'. On the Heaven and hell evening, as I raved in the cornered off ‘hell section’ in the chapel dressed as Maggie thatcher, there seemed to be less of a willingness to cross over to the dark side and there was soon a sad shift in numbers as people wiggled their way to heaven… my partner in crime who was dressed as a giant baby stuck close by, at least magz still has some supporters… as I danced in front of ‘jihadi john’ the DJ, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony of the situation..

Woodstock was wonderful as everyone’s inner hippie emerged. Flowers, fumes, sunnies, hippie pants and a kaleidoscope of colours as we all bonded, roamed and soaked in some delicious vitamin D. Later on came games of emergency bingo, secret disco rooms, mystic tents, hypothecary and moustache stalls, face paint, drawing booths, photo booths and powerful performances. The chapel was again transformed, thanks to the amazing organisation committee and we raved all night spinning to colourful disco balls, reading tarot cards and having spangly wangly conversations and musical jams.

The games room

It was a time for our hearts to be free, for judgments, worries and conformity to be left with reality. We slept at different times in one of many beds and awoke to more sexy kitchen, chapel, karaoke and pool parties, you just had to follow the chants to find out where to go. Surprise pass the parcel at 4am in the dining room was my favourite… techno tunes as we manically passed the parcel along revealing the naughty treats beneath each layer. And then finally, as though someone had clicked their fingers, the clock began to tick again and the party came to a close as a very delirious clean up took priority between 70+ people and the home slowly returned to its normal state.

Although I’m a newcomer, the attachments formed when you create so many bonds is always hard to leave – so we decided not to :p … and headed to the nearest beach to sink into sand dunes with the strumming of guitar and the melody of R and U singing Hare Krishna mantras. Flower fumes, luscombe ice cream and cheesy chips – we covered up from the sea breeze and sat together to enjoy what was soon beginning to feel like summer (with evidence of red noses to take home with us) …

Parting hugs, future promises and back in the car we went, stealing a few souls with us to Bristol for the night to indulge in Indian, feel clean again and snuggle into comfortable duvets with a mellow mix to sooth us to sleep.
With the pressure of our western lifestyles, a manic form of liberation is essential too – getting weird, getting down and acting somewhat like a clown (or dressed like one) you feed that aspect of your spirit that needs to have fun and not always take life too seriously (even though it’s easy to forget that.)

Beach Jams 

Words cant describe the magical event that’s appropriate to call the best party of the year full of love, respect and trust (and probably one of the coolest chapel raves on easter sunday!) so thank you to the wonderfully organised Captain and team for making it such a special occasion, my appreciation is dear.

Delirium describes my present state as I sit on an aeroplane en-route to Malaysia for the next adventure, to recuperate my senses, connect to my family and lovers and feel the steamy heat on my face as I step out of the aeroplane and into my tropical home for a eggstatic Easter ;).

Song of the day: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2VCwBzGdPM

The year Santa wore speedos..

Another beautiful sunset

I sit sniffling, with my cold at a climax and my chest loosening slightly after my first asthma attack in a long time, the local doc (that resembles a 15 year old) has prescribed me various pills for the next 4 days that I hope will soon heal me – do you find that when you stop moving so fast, or settle into holiday mode, everything seems to catch up with you and your body begins the much needed healing process you haven’t allowed it to have… but to be honest there’s more in the world to complain about, especially given the breath-taking view from above my laptop screen, it’s almost enough to make one forget what illness means.

Famalam :) (Excuse J's finger..)

I’m sitting in a beach cabana at our sweet guesthouse 'Sunset Gecko', surrounded by ‘The Ring of Fire’ – a surreal geological formation containing most of the worlds volcano's that arise as dark shadowy mountains at certain times of the day – easily mistaken for distant thunderclouds.
Today, the sky is slightly paler than the sea and a few white blobs are scattered around in random patches. The sharp, streamline clouds are a dark aqua and clumsily cut across the big fluffy giants that humour the afternoon. The sea is perfectly calm with a million visible ripples, as though someone from distant lands had thrown a rock into the water and the Gilli seas received the subtle aftershocks, that dissipate in soothing sounds as the waves lap the coral smothered sands. 

A moment of presence in Langkawi

You’d never believe that beneath the surface lies an underwater garden alive with the most tropical beauties – on my first venture into the deep, I spotted a huge turtle and spent the next hour and a half following it along, sneaking the odd stroke as excited tingles moved in waves through my body. I felt its slimy algae shell and caressed the large dent in its side, probably a result of a boat accident or shark at some point in its long life. My desire to be a mermaid felt real for a little while as we glided along together and I just admired its beauty, joined by J, mum or dad in sporadic intervals. 

Our xmas decorations on our balcony

Assuming we were on the same wavelength I held my breath and gently clutched on to the top of it’s shell, anticipating the ride of my life, when it spun around and proceeded to snap at me – my illusion was shattered and the wildness of the sea and its animals jolted me back to the surface of my reality. I floated away and allowed it to continue on with its peaceful existence of munching coral and floating with the current. As I returned to shore, wary of the surrounding boats, the sounds of their engines pulsing in my ears, I saw the odd floating plastic bag suspended in the ocean that had such jellyfish-like qualities… it made me empathise with the unknowing animals, almost experiencing a sense of suffocation as I became aware of my breath becoming more rapid and my body feeling panicked as I imagined the turtle obliviously chomping into one. On my way back to shore I tried to collect as many as possible but it just didn’t feel like enough… 

On a more positive note, It’s Christmas day of 2014 and I am surrounded by my gorgeous family in the Gilli Islands (translated from Bahasa into ‘small islands’) located just off of Lombok, Indonesia.

My brother and I :)

Pretty jewels for Christmas :)

I’m basking in familiarity, it’s easy to forget where your behavioural patterns stem from until you’re surrounded by your roots again – when opening Christmas presents after breakfast and a Lombok Coffee, my grin began to widen; not just because of the material aspect of Christmas, (while beautiful presents are always enjoyed) but because no one knows you like your family. Presents at Christmas, whether small or big, expensive or cheap, are a reflection of the level of thought someone’s put into you and vice versa. Simple things like knowing what colours you love or what your favourite chocolate is are what tick the boxes.

Christmas day presents :)

Ever since I was a little girl, my dad’s always said to me ‘I’d be happy with just a hand made card’ and while I’ve never given him just that, the message of authenticity and sentimentality still rings strong.

I can’t tell you how grateful I feel to be in the warmth again; my last blog post was written during the last wisps of summer as I left Australia in Spring and entered Pre-Autumn England. As friends have commented, these blogs tend to correlate with exotic adventures and holidays, leaving the mundane daily life out of the readers mind though it does still exist, it’s just not so fun to write about. I’ll give the mentionable stuff a chance…

The first frosty
leaves!

A yummy breakfast:
Fresh fig porridge with
raisins, pomegranate, honey
and cinnamon

I moved into a new house in Bristol with lovely new flatmates T, A and D, with whom I’ve bonded over movie nights and red wine, grime and Ben Pearce, fairy lights and spliffs, arguments about the heating or the kitchen and just general student tings…

The Second year of uni began with a roaring start, feeling more comfortable in our shoes and on the grounds of UWE, having graduated from fresher-dome, the content of Psychology kicking up a notch as I received my first ‘first’ in an essay about the dorsal streams in the brain relating to object recognition – la la la, don’t ask… It’s funny reading it now and having only a slight idea what I was talking about… I think that’s one of the highlights of uni though right, discovering your inner intellectual. My Sociology module in Transgression, taught by a stand up comedian whose lectures feature controversial topics such as SnM, Serial Killers, Cults and Satanism – each one being like watching a really good VICE documentary narrated by Russell Peters.

My cycle route :)

I’ve ticked off another box on the hippy trail and have joined the carbon-emission free cyclists – getting to grips with how to work out which gears work best on the hilly terrain of the city (primarily the sweaty uphill route to Uni), developing my incredibly poor road sense, buying all the essential accessories for rainy days and freezing winters (cold, stiff fingers were the most painful lesson) and also appreciating the picturesque country cycle routes. I can’t help but stop and take photo’s occasionally of the colliding clouds at sunset or the first frosty leaves on a 0°morning.

Feeling the love at Future Boogie

Cycling’s definitely been useful for travelling to my clients with the social caring agency I work for. The most difficult of clients who drained a lot of my energy last year is no longer with our agency, after burning down her hostel and having to be relocated somewhere a little further away… :s I now work with other, more manageable clients, customizing our days together depending on their disability and disposition … some days I race down Gloucester road, pushing a hysterically happy H. (who has cerebral palsy) in her wheelchair as we run to catch the bus to browse the German Christmas markets in town. Other days involve supporting C. (who suffers partial paralysis after multiple strokes and various other mental illnesses) for her weekly swim in a luxuriously heated pool at the Marriott. There’s also lovely J, a transgender with a neurological disease who lives in a ridiculously lovely Christian Commune and the list goes on… I can’t say there are many dull moments, or clients for that matter.

One of my clients, A <3

After a days work the last burst of energy gets thrown into Hot Yoga – the name says it all. You arrive and place your special towel on your mat that ends drenched in sweat as you proceed to follow the instructor through a Vinyassa Flow series, in a Sauna. Similar to Bikram Yoga but less monotonous – it’s a very intense, masculine and energetic practise as you indulge in your cyclic breath and wind down from all the stressors of western living. Stepping outside into a cold winters eve and cycling down the backstreets on the ride home is always invigorating.

Fat Freddyyy

So the highlights of the last few months were having my best friend M. move to town, cooking delicious meals, slowing down on the wide eyed clubbing front and spending money on amazing gigs like Fat Freddy’s drop in London with J, Gramatik in Bristol with D, Mr. Scruff, Shak-out, Future Boogie and a few others. Breaks from Bristol to my hippie home in Devon with C and J, lunches with Rastas in Portobello market and attending my cousins launch party for his pizza business in a trendy warehouse in North London (http://www.madeofdough.co.uk/)

But while I tie the knot for now on that spiel (I apologise for the length), I can feel lightness in my heart. The darkness of winter began to dawn on me and SAD definitely played its role. Growing up in Asia where summer’s the only season besides the few months of tropical downpour, lack of sun feels so abnormal – sunbeds have become an occasional guilty pleasure…

Alex Gray

J and I riding Segways
in Langkawi haha

So now, the sun has returned, as have the loves of my life – family have already been mentioned (my 15 year old brother whom I still imagine having to bend over to hug is now almost 6ft tall and growing!) And I have also been reunited with my boyfriend J after months of sustaining a tedious long distance relationship of daily 10 minute Skype calls as I’m falling asleep with red eyes and he’s fresh faced and hopping out of bed at 8am ready to start the day. I can’t explain how connecting on a physical level, just holding hands or really feeling their presence allows for that cold winter barrier to melt again and emotions to pour into one another. Alex Grays painting (Right) describes it perfectly…

Reunion :)

After a lovely but hectic evening in mums boho-chic apartment (as we helped her shut down all her accounts that were being hacked one by one), with her new best friends and comical neighbours, J and I jetted off to Langkawi; the closest Malaysian beach getaway from Kuala Lumpur, where we became travellers again. Bartering with sarong sellers, riding motorbikes up windy hills and eating £1 meals on plastic chairs with fellow sweaty backpackers.

It shames me to admit, despite my efforts, I have lost a few things on this trip… a wad of money, various Christmas presents ladidadida but I’m not going to spend my time dwelling on the negative. One of my new years resolutions is to be more aware of everything – hopefully the necklace that dad got me for Christmas (that contains all of the spiritual and religious protection amulets) will help ward off some of the negative as I work towards developing this goal…

So now, J. is with his family in KL and I am with mine in Indo, In January 2015 we will journey to Bristol together when my exams kick off (meh) but for now, an attitude of gratitude and presence will help evoke the true essence in all of us. Lots of love to all, Merry Christmas and a Happy 2015.

Recipe of the day: Roti Cannai! (Photo's of a pro making it below)

http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/28702/roti+canai 

The last breath of summer

Sugar

The Austral

Leaving Convo

Oh.my.lord I can finally take a deep breath! Having just boarded the national express coach from London Heathrow to Bristol, I’m on the last leg of the journey to my new home. The last 28 hours have been a plethora of emotional states. Checking into the airport in Adelaide 6KG overweight (in luggage) and having to re-pack all my bags or suffer paying $94 per KG eeek… I grabbed handfuls of heavy clothes and shoes to hand to M and C so as not to hold up the convoy of other friends that were seeing me off… I reckon the trick of minimizing luggage is to do it fast, the longer you think about it the less you want to take out. Lining up to check in all over again and finding my passport with a stressful sigh and a pounding heart for the second time in 20 minutes, I placed my luggage on the weighing belt ‘28Kg’ – damn it, I thought, I could’ve kept 2kg worth of the shoes… J had an evening shift that night so instead I got not only one but NINE of my Australian lovers to say goodbye to. We had a cheeky smoke, a blurry photo and lots of bear hugs before I turned to leave, keeping my mind occupied so as not to totally lose it now I was on my own. For some reason I have a habit of shortening the time a flight usually takes (in my head) and extending the waiting time between flights. So I thought Adelaide – Dubai was 6 hours, when in fact it read ’12 hours to destination’ when I sat down in my aisle seat. Double!? Man… Sleeping pill, cheesy rom com and whoosh – we were away in the warm night sky of Adelaide as the spring flowers began to bloom and the natural confetti of cherry blossom drifted through the streets. I woke up every few hours to try to get into a comfier position, contorting into all sorts of shapes while faintly aware of the smell of vomit from a poor soul a few rows in front of me… I could only imagine what it would’ve been like when smoking was legal on planes, eugh.

Devils Crossroads!

Best dressed <3

Arriving in Dubai to a bustling airport at 5.30am after an 8 hour sleep, I washed up and made my way to the gate that read ‘London Heathrow’, only to find out four hours later that my flight had already left, I was in fact at the wrong gate and to secure a seat on the next flight would be £260 – no English accent, boobs or sob story was enough to sway the fee so I regretfully handed over my debit card and waited at the right gate. Keen as ever to get out of Dubai, I was one of the first on the plane and got talking to an English airhostess that insisted we’d make it to London an hour earlier than scheduled – leaving my mind at rest for the 7 hours ahead. But Murphey’s law, a few people missed the flight etc etc. and we were delayed by 1.45 hours, mann.. So though it was a big grey cloud, the silver lining still exists… arriving safe and sound (despite being warned by our paranoid barista that I may be shot down), ‘National Express’ being babes and not charging me extra for a new coach ticket and the excitement of moving into a new house with new housemates J … but is summer reeeeally over??

Percussions

Ali Baba and Morgan at the house
partyy

To be fair, Uni summer’s are rather ridiculous in length compared to what schools used to be so there isn’t too much to complain about. In my last blog post I was en-route to Malaysia to see the family. What a whirlwind of a week that was, lots of fabulous food, trips down memory lane with childhood videos (laughing at J’s pre-pubescent chipmunk-like voice), pampering sessions, yoga, swimming and Q.T with loved ones. J and J managed to change their flights and come over from Burma a few days early so we scoffed high tea, enjoyed high afternoons and a very intense session of ‘break out’ – a new activity to do in KL! It’s a 45 minute simulated ‘challenge’ in which a group of you are split into teams, handcuffed and lead into little rooms where you’re given roles and abstract challenges/ clues to find each other and the way out. I can’t say I contributed much other than shrieking at every sudden movement and jolting J who was handcuffed to me (I do apologise…) – and that intensity didn’t really wear off into the rest of my last evening in KL, leaving the family in streams of tears it wasn’t long before I heard my name over the loudspeakers in the airport calling for the last passenger on the flight who was holding everyone up – whoops :s! That just about got me into the zone. I love the moto ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ and definitely reckon that applies to travelling, in my case anyway…

Rather unimpressive tasmanian devils

Happily stoned on eucalyptus

Whaaaat

Emus

I felt a bit like this in my aeroplane seat..

No one's gonna be telling him to grow some balls..

Alpacas

Piggiees

J and his spirit animal

Show bags :)

The Royal Adelaide Show!

Back to Adelaide for the last 2 weeks of J and the crew. Family get-togethers, trips to Cleland national park to gawk at some real Aussie wildlife! Seshes in the backroom, the odd encounter with a nut job and his knife :s, bike rides to Glenelg (the local beach) along the beautiful river torrens passing flocks of pink cockatoos and the odd caveman on the way… We had an escape up to ‘Goolwa’ a seaside town where a lot of Brits strangley happen to reside (suddenly hearing the accent everywhere throws you off tilt a bit). Stepping into Jacks grandparents beach house took you back in time to the 90’s, 70’s, 60’s etc.; adverts for cigarette packs, old toy dolls and comfortably worn furniture. We thrived in our newfound passionate 

Wood cutting contests?

liberation, cooking beautiful meals, taking long walks on the beach and quick dips in the sea (haha sounds a bit like what you’d write under ‘interests’ on a dating website :p). Our last day was spent cleaning the house in a meditative silence that took longer than expected meaning we missed the penguin feeding on Granite Island but sometimes, I find the more activities you try to pack into a holiday can sometimes be unessacary stress and detract from enjoying being on holiday. Since doing Vipassana I can’t help but be far more aware of the distractions that I fill my time with, given, the more you’re ignorant towards it the easier those distractions become again; that reminds me of the scene in the Matrix where Cypher chooses to be plugged in again and utters ‘ignorance is bliss’ as he bites into a juicy steak). 

H and I

Walking to Paradise with my
Kiwi girls

A few days of not having any responsibility to anyone but each other and ourselves meant that at least some of the distractions could be minimized. On our way back past the vineyards in Barossa valley, we stopped to buy some vibrant oranges and continued to wind our way along back to the city… realising halfway that we’d forgotten to turn the water and electricity mains off, set-baack (something we’re learning to become increasingly equanemous to..)

J came to visit S and V in Adelaide on a short flight from KL adding another chunk of love to the team. A mandatory Wednesday night out at sugar and a house party with the theme ‘time warp’ at Wayville with the 3000w strobe light, pro decks and speakers (along with N’ party tricks) sent everyone off into their own extremities. The comby that was parked in the garden acted as a d&m room and the mattress on the grass a perfect trippers escape. Everyone was positively surprised at the lack of noise complaints after the 6am fire works went off with Psy blasting in the background. 

& Massive Indian cook-ups

Yummy fresh lunches

We managed to lift ourselves out of bed around 3pm to find scraggly bits of tin foil, blue face paint and a few passed out boys in the back room, what a successful night. We let the memory of the night stew, to head to Sky view for one last panorama of Adelaide. Lying in the grass and reflecting on the passed few weeks, having the daunting conversation of future plans… We had a relaxed last catch up with J’s dad in town, a sentimental Indian dinner and sauntering arm in arm through Rundle Mall with a midnight blue sky in the background, we made our way to ‘Cocolat’ for dessert that evening. One lonely busker was playing a melancholic harmony that drifted through us for about 20 minutes as we kissed, locked fingers and merged, indulging in the romantic cliché that I wanted to pause and leave as a still frame to linger forever… but anitya, impermanence, all things come to an end.
We’d extended my flight by another week already and it was already down to the last day, a nostalgic Greek brunch at Yia Yia’s house where we’d stayed on the very first night, a Mexican pot-luck lunch at Wayville as we chatted and chilled, with T sitting casually in his pig-suit and sunnies drinking goon :p and then off to the airport… and onto a plane… and somehow, back here.

Goolwa

The ability to have family on the other side of the world is amazing, and hopefully if they tire of the summer heat perhaps England’s appeal will grow but until then, I’ll just have to have a cup of concrete and harden the fuck up ;) Thank you and I love you all.



Mix of the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1Ol6M0d9sg